Thursday, July 31, 2014

9 reasons being a tall female is a pain in the ass

When I was in seventh grade I remember having knee troubles during soccer season and having to go to the doctor. Turns out I had something called Osgood Slaughter, which is just fancy for "You're growing faster than your bones". At this time I was about 5'7 and already a good height above most of the people in my class including boys. So I asked the doctor "Am I going to be 7 foot tall in the seventh grade?" In which he responded with, "No, well not in the seventh grade at least". From then on out I knew I was done for. Turns out that I didn't grow to be 7 foot tall. I came about a foot short. To be honest, sometimes I think I am still growing.
Don't get me wrong, being tall isn't always bad and I'm not saying to hate yourself for it. But I know you other tall women out there can completely relate to this post when I say, there's a lot of reasons being tall is just frustrating.

1. Finding jeans is like looking for the Holy Grail, NOT EASY

Forget online shopping for jeans. Forget just quickly grabbing a cute pair in hopes that they're long enough. Honestly, forget it all together. Jean shopping is the absolute WORST. The idea of it just makes me exhausted. The perfect pair that hugs your hips just right, fits on your body neatly, and fits the length of your legs exists... in my dreams.

2. Being tall DOES NOT always mean graceful

If you know me at all, considering my previous post, I am probably the least graceful person you will ever meet. I've been seeing a guy for maybe a week now and he's already picked up on it. I've used this analogy before but, imagine a baby giraffe taking it's first steps... Got the picture ? Yeah, you're imagining me.

"I think I need a bigger size.."
3. Every shoe you try on looks like a clown shoe

This may just relate to me considering I don't know if everyone has big feet. I wear a size 10 or 11. My dad used to make fun of me when I was younger about putting on my clown shoes. Also, s
haring shoes with your friends is a no go. 

4. High heels make you TOO tall

This one is one that I give the middle finger to. I buy heels regardless. But when your friends are 5'4 or shorter, you feel insecure about being amazon woman. Society makes being tall so complicated especially when looking for a man. They expect the man to be the taller one. My advice? Work it. In my experience, you're the first person that everyone sees, therefore, you're always the center of attention.

This is sexy too right?
5. Shaving your legs? Screw it.

Long legs are nice. They're sexy and guys LOVE them. When they're shaved. It's a long and tedious task that takes longer than the average person. I hate doing it.

6. You hit your head on, well, everything

Jokes have been made about wearing a helmet. This goes along with not being very graceful. You'd be surprised how many public places discriminate against us large people. 

7. Just expect to look slutty in every dress or skirt you wear

Unless it's a maxi dress or a pencil skirt, you're out of luck. I have a large wardrobe of dresses that I refuse to get rid of even though I will never wear them again knowing that if I do, my ass will be the star of the show.  

8. Hearing "Oh my god, I wish I was as tall as you!"

False, ten bucks says that every tall bitch has said once or twice, "I wish I was just a few inches shorter..."

Last but certainly not least,

9. Being asked, "Do/did you play basketball?"

Now I know I'm not the only one who has ever been asked this question. To this day, I am asked this. I appreciate you noticing that yes, I am athletic, but no.. not every 6 foot tall person plays this sport. I played soccer all of my life and no I didn't play goalie. 

I know it seems I'm hating on being tall and I'm not. There are days where I absolutely love it. I know I look good. But these are the things that I just want to tell everybody who comes up to me and says that they wish they were taller. 

What's your biggest pet peeve?


  1. Jeans shopping sucks for everyone I think. I'm short, but not short enough to shop in petites or they're too short, and too short to shop in regular or they're too long. It's nuts.

  2. Girl I know. The only jeans I can find that for my large butt and my length is online. Then I'm taking a risk on whether they got right or not. Lol