Human Wrecking Ball

You ever have those days where you feel like everything around you is just crumbling down? Yeah I do, everyday. Literally. I never realized how big of a klutz I truly was until I began working in a nursing home.

 Now for a little back story. My friends get their kicks by making fun of the fact that I am a 6 foot tall baby  giraffe. I fall a lot, I break a lot of stuff, and people generally don't leave me alone with any glass or small infants. I don't know how to turn it off I just keep breaking stuff.

Thus brings us back to the story,

(If you are incredibly religious and get offended easily I suggest not reading this.)

My job title is an Account Manager of housekeeping. Meaning I watch over all things cleaning.

When I started this job, I thought, "I'll be fine". No. Wrong. Most nursing homes, if you have every been in one, usually have chapels. Chapels, have Holy Water. I, have a vacuum and 22 years of clumsy fawn syndrome. Somehow, I'm not exactly sure how, I managed to knock over a marble stand full of Holy Water. Guys, I knocked over HOLY water. Do they make a instructional book about what to do in this situation? No. They don't. So what do I do? I pick it up, trying to be stealthy, I take the bowl into the bathroom and fill it with water. I managed not to get caught but what happens next lets me know that God does have a sense of humor.

I continued to clean the Chapel like nothing happened when I got to the Jesus statue that could use a little dusting. I started wiping him down and when I reached his hand, something fell on the table. It happened so fast that I didn't even notice until I went to wipe down the table. I. Broke. Jesus. Finger. That's not even the worst part. The worst part? Finding the maintenance guy to glue the thing back on. 

Talk about a terrible glue job.

All in all it's a hilarious story that my mom likes to tell EVERYBODY and I didn't actually get into any trouble. I have many more stories of me falling or breaking stuff but this one definitely stood out. Please tell me there are other people out there like me. 

Tell me your clumsiest story.